Grief and loss in extraordinary times

My heart goes out to anyone who loses a loved one at any time. In the midst of the world navigating a pandemic, grief and end of life journeys are immensely challenged. This new normal forces us to think about every interaction we encounter with one another in very unique ways. To families who are dealing with the loss of a loved one at this time, I can only imagine how difficult it is for you. Our ability to serve, guide and meet you in your loss requires us all to find new and creative solutions.

Social distancing has become a new way of life for now anyway. Presently, if you want to proceed with funeral arrangements, only ten people can gather together. If you are from a large family, then you are forced to choose who will attend or post pone the service to another date. These are not easy decisions. At the funeral where we want to reach out and offer physical comfort to one another, we are reminded not to. A hug and embrace allows us to connect to each other in such a meaningful way. Without that physical contact, it seems to me that our words and other gestures become even more important.

As such, I am compelled to write today especially to those grieving families who are directly affected by the many necessary restrictions of this pandemic. I want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. Firstly, for the loss of the one you have loved. Secondly, to acknowledge that this pandemic has forced you to grieve at a very difficult time. Our social norms and rituals have dramatically shifted adding another systemic layer of grief and loss which we are learning to deal with, one day at a time.

My hope is that we can continue to find our way through this process together. The journey of death and grief is one we should never have to walk alone. May we continue to reach out to find new ways to offer services that are meaningful and support families in making their best decisions. For some, perhaps virtual services done in a timely fashion will be the best solution. For other families they may want to wait until they can have a full funeral ceremony with no limitations.

May our hearts be full of grace and kindness for each other in the days ahead.

Blessings,

Barb

Life Celebrant

The Joys of being a Life Celebrant

When I first meet people and tell them that I am a Life Celebrant who guides and helps families prepare for and navigate end of life ceremonies, more often than not, it leads to some interesting questions and conversations. I love them all. Talking about death and funerals is uncomfortable for many people. I am perhaps one of the odd ones who really loves and appreciates a good funeral. Let me explain.

Certainly, the loss of a loved one is never easy and we all process grief in our own ways. What I find the most rewarding is meeting with families, holding space for their individual loss and listening to each of their stories. Of course, we might have some ideas as to how we want to be remembered when we die. Sometimes a lot of the details have been worked out ahead of time. Alternatively, when the loss is sudden, there is no time to prepare. The family and friends that we leave behind are the guardians of those wishes and even still, they may not always agree on how those wishes should be honored. So there are a lot of layers and decisions to sort through at a time when the intense emotions of grief can be overwhelming.

As a Life Celebrant, it is my job to help families come together on their individual grief journeys and guide them through these decisions to create a celebration that is meaningful to everyone. Each life is unique and so too, is each life celebration. My greatest joy and privilege is walking with families during this difficult time, respecting their needs and wishes and helping them create a moment that truly serves them.

“Life is what you celebrate. All of it. Even it’s end.” Joanne Harris

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